I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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