is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
