last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
