It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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