I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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