I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
