Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
