she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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