Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
