Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
