You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
