she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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