So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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