Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hippo gnu deer
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
