she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
