two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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