You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
