I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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