maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
