so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
