Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I touched a dick in church today
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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