It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
