Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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