Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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