this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
only you would photoshop your dick
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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