got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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