No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
