What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
