There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
sex in a hospital.. check
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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