Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
