i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
