I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
