i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
