Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
