fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
