I wish my penis had an off switch
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
