This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
