I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize