Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
