Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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