i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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