You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
