Your tits are I can't wait for
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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