I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
