If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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