I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
