WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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