her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
