I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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