Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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