Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
