I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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