ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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